New Year's Resolutions, I Say Fuck'em!

A January delight from me to you ♥️

Happy New Year! 🎉 I hope you had fun whatever you got up to yesterday and had a restful day today. I wanted to send you a piece I wrote at the beginning of last year, as it is still relevant and is a personal favourite of mine. Lighthearted, fun and a little “fuck you” to new years resolutions - Enjoy! 😉

Photo by Michele Purin on Unsplash

Biscuits for Breakfast - (First published 7th Feb 2024)

As the “New Year, new me” epidemic of this January (and Januarys past) starts to descend on us yet again, it begs the question…

Why do we do this to ourselves every year?

There are many answers to this question, one of which is the obvious marketing ploy of gyms, fitness centres and protein shake companies the world over. Someone (really quite clever) decided it would be the perfect time of year to prey on people’s insecurities, harness their desire for a “better me” and channel it straight into their greedy little money grabbing pockets.

Now, you may have wised up to this marketing ploy and for that I applaud you. It will mean you have been in that god awful place where you swiftly remember that you absolutely hate the gym (always have, always will), but are now slave to it for the entire 12 month contract you unwittingly signed… or, you never go again. Either way, you must begrudgingly part with your hard earned cash every single month, and suffer that feeling of being well and truly shafted up the backside!

Of-course many more social pressures have since been introduced, to fuel the ever-burning fire of failure we hold within us, should we decide not to comply. One of which has been cringingly named “Dry January”… and because of said name, it is immediately obvious who has decided not to partake in this ridiculous idea, as it is very difficult to say as soon as a drop of alcohol has touched your lips! I mean seriously, who the hell decided that giving up booze would be a fantastic thing to do during the most depressing month of the year!

Let’s be honest, January is total and utter shite for several reasons… It’s bad enough that the weather is completely cold, dreary and just plain awful. There’s also a distinct lack of that thing called daylight… and when the sun does come out for two nano seconds, it teases us as it dances on our faces reminding us of what we’re missing, then fucks off for another week or two. Then there’s the fact that we’re all completely skint following Christmas and payday isn’t for, what seems like, forever!

Not to mention that most of us are still reeling from the afore mentioned Christmas, due to spending an unhealthy amount of time with the people we actually try to avoid most of the year… AND we’re all exhausted from being with our lovely (but really quite annoying) little shits – sorry, children – 24/7. Finally… and this is the final nail in the coffin… Feeling like you have an arse the size of Antarctica due to the unholy amount of cheese, crackers, wine, gin, chocolate and Baileys you’ve consumed over the last two weeks.

So, my point is this… Obviously cutting down on alcohol post-Christmas could be advisable, due to previously mentioned size of one’s arse and general feeling of exhaustion and self-loathing… but to cut it out completely, just because someone decided to put a quirky little label on it and, by the way, thinks it’s then ok to go back to seismic drinking habits the very second February the 1^st arrives… Surely, just cutting back a little and resuming normal/acceptable levels of alcohol intake would be far more feasible and achievable. Thus, not making us feel even worse about ourselves at a time when we are most likely to be feeling pretty shit already!

This healthy balance of all things in moderation has to be the right approach, surely. There’s a reason drastic “fad” diets and denying yourself all manner of things that might be slightly unhealthy doesn’t work. It might be possible to keep up with these restrictions for a short while, but even people with the best of intentions will inevitably fall victim to the self-sabotage pit that awaits them at the bottom of the “oh, one won’t hurt” slide straight into failure town.

But it doesn’t need to be this way… If we allow ourselves to enjoy all the wonderful and tasty stuff this world has to offer, in a healthy and balanced amount that suit each of us individually (assuming we are obeying the law, not causing anyone harm or being a total arsehole)… AND we let go of the gut-wrenching guilt and shame surrounding doing anything that’s deemed “bad” for us… Then we CAN live a balanced lifestyle and actually enjoy it! Never needing to subscribe to the unnecessary membership contracts, unattainable fad diets and carelessly invented restrictive pressures, built to prey on our low self-esteem, guilt, shame and general feeling of failure.

Writing about this reminds me of an episode of ‘Orange is the New Black’ that really struck a chord with me at the time, and has since helped me through times of potential self-sabotage. If you’re unfamiliar with the Netflix series, it’s basically about a bunch of female prisoners in America, with the main character being an unlikely inmate and follows her story behind bars. Providing us with an enormous amount of insight into life in a women’s prison along the way. It’s thought provoking, sad and funny in equal measures and as a viewer you begin to find yourself rooting for some of these woman… and they themselves become close and supportive of each other, which is quite wonderful to watch.

In this particular episode towards the end of the last series, the women have been on quite a journey together and are discussing how to overcome self-sabotage and how we have a fresh opportunity each and every day to be a good person and do better, no matter how epically we may have fallen off the wagon before then. I wrote down the exact words that were said by one of the prisoners, during her hugely uplifting moment of realisation… that she has a CHOICE and there is indeed hope of a better life.

"Just because you eat biscuits for breakfast... don't mean you have to go all nuts eatin' burgers, sweets and doughnuts and shit for lunch... you can have
a chicken salad... you can CHOOSE the chicken salad”

So eloquently put! Just because you were one way once, it doesn’t mean you’re destined to be that person forever. You are who you are in each MOMENT… if you lose your shit at your kids one day... you don't have to continue to be that person! And… not just each new day... each new hour, minute, SECOND!

So… if you find yourself behaving in a way you don’t like, or doing something not in line with your ethics and morals… apologise if you need to, forgive yourself and move on. Then, you’ll never need to find yourself sliding into that self-sabotage pit and setting up camp in failure town again.

Thank you so much for reading!

If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to give it a little like, comment or share to help other people find it ☺️ Let’s spread the laughs and help to
heal those impending January blues! 😬

Some Recommendations

1. If you fancy some more New Year’s fun, I highly recommend THIS post from the fabulous Sara and her hilarious Box of Shit! 💩🤣

2. And for a seriously gentle start to 2025, read THIS from the brilliant Suzy Walker and her Heart Leap community - which I will be joining for 2025, so maybe I’ll see you there!

3. If you need a short but powerful relaxation, to help bring a softness to your whole body, listen to THIS fabulous meditation from the gorgeous Lauren Barber

That’s Enough From Me

Goodbye 2024! Thank you for the good times and for the lesson’s that were learned from the bad. Happy New Year everyone! 🎉✨🥰

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and insights from a slightly un-hinged woman in her
40’s, who is (almost) all out of f*cks to give!